


eyes closed (he feels just like you)

by ifwehadbeeninlove



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, more angst i'm so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-01-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:49:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22243618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ifwehadbeeninlove/pseuds/ifwehadbeeninlove
Summary: jeonghan knew he couldn't keep his eyes closed forever.
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan, Kim Mingyu/Yoon Jeonghan
Comments: 12
Kudos: 39





	eyes closed (he feels just like you)

**Author's Note:**

> i don't have a happy bone in my body it seems! maybe one day i'll write something not so angsty.
> 
> inspired by halsey's song "eyes closed".

_“now if i keep my eyes closed he looks just like you_

_but he'll never stay, they never do_

_now if i keep my eyes closed he feels just like you_

_but you've been replaced_

_i'm face to face with someone new”_

“oh god.”

jeonghan let out a soft, pleasured sigh as mingyu latched his mouth onto his neck, and buried his fingers in the taller man’s dark hair, keeping his eyes closed. “i want you so bad”, mingyu whispered against his skin and spread jeonghan’s legs with his hand to make more room for himself. he kissed his way all the way up to jeonghan’s mouth and ground his hips down, efficiently making the older man moan into the kiss.

it was _hot_. mingyu pressing jeonghan’s smaller body down onto the mattress of his bed, keeping him there as he kissed him senseless. jeonghan loved it.

mingyu kept going and slipped a hand under jeonghan’s t-shirt. “hani. open your eyes”, mingyu said, but jeonghan immediately shook his head. “no, mingyu – ah, please, just kiss me again”, he said, mostly to distract mingyu from wondering why he refused to open his eyes to look at him.

if jeonghan kept his eyes closed, it was easier to pretend it was someone else kissing him, loving him.

_“baby, look at me”, seungcheol said and jeonghan immediately opened his eyes. the other was looking down at him with an adoring look on his face, and jeonghan could only imagine what he was seeing. he knew his cheeks must have been flushed, his lips bitten red –_ gorgeous _, as seungcheol always said he was. and seungcheol looked good as well – dimples on show on his handsome face, eyes big and full of love (for jeonghan)._

_jeonghan couldn’t help the fond smile forming on his own lips. for a moment, he forgot the situation they were in: in the middle of a hot makeout session, a shirtless seungcheol hovering over jeonghan. he looked up at his boyfriend and he felt a different kind of warmth compared to minutes ago when they were kissing and feeling each other up. what they had was way more than a purely physical relationship. they were in love, hopelessly._

_jeonghan didn’t think he could ever love anyone again the way he loved seungcheol._

mingyu’s kiss was passionate, just like seungcheol’s. even his body was reminiscent of the older man, only taller, but with his eyes closed jeonghan could easily pretend it was seungcheol in the bed with him. he could pretend it was seungcheol’s hand running up and down his clothed thigh, seungcheol’s mouth on his, seungcheol’s weight keeping him down. jeonghan moaned at the thought, trying his hardest to keep himself from saying his ex-boyfriend’s name while he was under someone else.

mingyu was oblivious to what was going on inside jeonghan’s mind. he was too focused on his own mission to realize that the reason why the older refused to look at him was that he wished mingyu was someone else. jeonghan wondered if mingyu really was that dense, or if he didn’t care as long as he got what he wanted. it was probably the latter option, as mingyu never stayed to hold him after they were done, never showed him _love_ unless he was lonely and horny. jeonghan didn’t either, so he couldn’t really blame the other too much. outside the bedroom, mingyu was nothing like seungcheol and jeonghan couldn’t pretend to feel anything for him anymore.

_“will you love me forever?” seungcheol asked against jeonghan’s nape as he was holding him while they were lying down on the bed. jeonghan hummed and responded, “why are you asking that so suddenly? silly.” the older man squeezed him tighter and said, “just tell me.” jeonghan smiled – seungcheol was so adorable. “i could never be in love with someone else. who else is going to put up with me”, he said and it made seungcheol chuckle. “true. you’re so annoying.” jeonghan exaggerated an offended gasp and elbowed his boyfriend. seungcheol laughed, and pressed a kiss on jeonghan’s kiss. “sorry, baby. i was just kidding.” the younger twisted in his arms so they could be face to face and kissed seungcheol’s nose. “how about you? will you love me forever?”_

_“you know i will.”_

jeonghan hadn’t realized tears had begun rolling down his cheeks. neither had mingyu, who had gone back to kissing jeonghan’s neck, occasionally sucking a hickey there. jeonghan opened his eyes and suddenly the illusion was over.

_“jeonghan.”_

_“jeonghan, please.”_

_jeonghan had his back turned on seungcheol who kept begging him to turn around and look at him and forgive him. jeonghan wiped his tears away before finally giving in and turning around to face his boyfriend – no, ex-boyfriend now. seungcheol looked absolutely devastated, and it was pulling on his heartstrings._

_but seungcheol had made the decision himself when he had decided to sleep with someone else, someone who wasn’t jeonghan – his_ boyfriend _._

_so he couldn’t give in to that face this time. he loved seungcheol, he loved him more than he loved anyone, but he couldn’t forgive him for this. he had broken jeonghan’s trust and his heart with his thoughtless actions._

_jeonghan somehow found it a little bit funny how he used to love looking at seungcheol so much, but now he absolutely couldn’t stand it._

_“no.”_

mingyu plopped down on the bed next to jeonghan who turned his head to look at him, _really_ look at him. it wasn’t choi seungcheol who was lying next to him. it wasn’t choi seungcheol who had broken his heart and was now gone. it was kim mingyu, who hadn’t broken his heart but who didn’t love him either – who jeonghan didn’t love.

jeonghan hated this part where it was mingyu – or jihoon or jisoo or whoever – next to him. he hated mingyu for not being seungcheol and he hated himself for wishing mingyu was seungcheol.

but jeonghan knew he couldn’t keep pretending forever.

he knew he couldn’t keep his eyes closed forever.


End file.
